Emily's House

Okay, so lets be honest, it's been a while since I last blog. I may easily have lost my touch. I might also have suddenly become mega-super-freaking-awesome-cool-in-your-face-winning-freaky-good. You know. That's just how it is.

So I am now going to totally ignore the past, uh, long amount of time (I am not going to go and see how long it's been since I last blogged, because that number would depress not only me, but also you, my loyal followers) and I am going to tell you about today.

For those of you that are, lets say, interesting, today is Saturday.

This morning, I had an interesting dream. Firstly, I was at school and totally out of it. Then, a girl I know comes up to me and randomly offers me drugs. -brief pause-. I accept them, because without them what will make my lonely life exciting? So we're sitting there, being randomly druggie and then... The circus is coming to school!!!! It's a weird production and students are allowed to join in. I think about this before deciding it would be more interesting to just sit there and randomly wait for the drugs to kick in. I am wondering if I actually took a drug at this point. By now the other students have been participating in the circus for quite a while, doing backflips, riding elephants, all that kind of shit just randomly going on in the background. Then, they decide to give out awards. Suddenly I see them from a great distance and I squint a bit before realising that actually, they are just dolls house people size. I point at a curtained off area and ask what it is, and totally ignore the answer because I don't really care. Then I change my mind and look inside it at all their tiny outfits and the mini-man gets angry and pounds me with his tiny fists... So I throw him out the window. Then everything is normal size again and I see Emily being awarded a banana for most healthy eating (SO accurate :L). Amber does not like this. So her competitive streak kicks in and she kills everyone in the room. Before I can continue to wonder about the drugs not having kicked in yet I realise that the entire time I have been in a car on the way to the farm. Awkward. Then I wake up because the phone is ringing.

Sorry if that was extremely long and boring. That is how my Saturday started. I was freaked out quite a bit.

Then the real fun started. Shower, breakfast, clothes, leave house. 11.40, catch the train to Ledbury with a single there. 11.42, get text from mother informing me that I am getting the train back to Hereford if I want to get home. 11.59, get to Ledbury. Hello Emily. Walk to Emily's house. See the same old lady on the phone with a dog that we see every single time. Try to drink tea from flask whilst walking. Pour it all over own face. Get to Emily's house. Start making pancakes. Have milk panic attack. Have pancake panic attack. Eat strange, strange pancakes, the shape of blobs (yes Em, you are an amazing chef).  Waffle (in a speaky way)

Go to Emily's room. Tumbl for a while. Watch Jennamarbles and love her. (Miss out small amounts of my own memory here).... Decide to bake some more! Now, let's get onto the subject of brownies.

I bought a brownie mix for us when we went to Tesco on the way to Em's house. It says in the instructions "add 75ml of water". So naturally, I tell Emily to "Add 75ml of water". Somehow she mishears this as "Add 700ml of water". After adding 400ml of water she turns around and asks if she's added water twice or three times. Neither of us know. So I ask her how much is in one cup. She says 200ml. Short pause. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?! So we then randomly add egg, flour, sugar and cocoa by taste. As in, "If it tastes like shit, add cocoa or sugar. If it's still the consistency of water, add flour. If you feel like it, add an egg." Unsurprisingly, all of the above things were added. Having poured it into a tray and then removed it because we forgot the oil, we re-poured it and out it in the oven. Took about 45 mins to cook compared to the 20-25 it says on the packet for a normal one. 

We'll get back to that later. Then we made cookies. I can't be bothered to go over all of what happened, but I gave Em a drink of orange juice and poured it all over her face and the floor. Cookies came out of this. Also, we made mega-cookie and it was more of a cakie and it reminded me of mega-friend which is on my happy list.

When the brownie was cooked, it was discovered that brownie can infact be a dangerous weapon. For a brief period we panicked over the fact that the end of the knife was missing after having struggled to cut up the "bendy" or rather "rubbery" brownies.

Yeah, they look good though, so same difference.

Went home on the train. Half way through the train ride I realised there was cookie mix on my face. Awkward.

LETS GET TO THE FUNNY ALREADY.

I have no funny. I drew pictures of Powe! though. GO POWE!!!! Turns out that Powe!'s powers come from her calculator and her alien origin and that she has a sidekick with no powers other than their determination to be dressed as a cat at all times and their indeterminable gender.

Then I drew some pictures of Powe! defeating enemies with frozen broccoli, as all true superheroes should.

Oddie headbutted the banister again and actually fell over with a thump afterwards. I discovered that he has put on wait and can no longer fit through the gap (which is about 4, 5 inches).

Had to change my tumblr password because of "unusual activity". Which probably means that it identified Ella and Emily's usage, but could be that it actually noticed the weird tumblr staff blog spam my tumblr was getting. Btw, iroastcats4lolz.tumblr.com is a great site.

Laughed at my face. Because, you know, who doesn't do that?

I'm really sorry, but I don't actually have anything interesting to say. I've been de-interestingised. So I am going to leave you with this, possibly my last ever post.

But possibly not ;)

Weener

Ella is a weener.

Ok, so I'm a freak. What's it to you?

This title makes it sound like I'm angry. I'm not. But lets just rewind to yesterday, quite frankly because it was more fun then.

So...We went to see Insidious at the cinema!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went all the way to Gloucester! I can't remember how long it took, but the train had a leak. A creepy leak. Like, a water leak. And it dripped. Ella's foot got wet.

I feel really bad for you guys! The entire story is pretty much hilarious, but I'm too tired to bother putting detail in- you'll find out why.

So, basically we all got rejected for it because Adam and James didn't have ID. Not that everyone else did. They just looked young. Ella and I brought ID. I ended up showing the guy my ID for no reason. I was like "I have ID!...Wanna see it?"..."Wait! No! You can't see it! I hate my photo! Nooooooo!.....Actually I don't really know you, so it's okay. Take it, take it now!". Yeah. So instead we all watched Hanna. Which is pretty amazing. Like bang bang shooty shooty deady deady!!!

I'm going to quote it now: "I think when I'm older I might be a lesbian...But I'd only hold hands and I think I'd end up marrying a man." Mwahahahahahaha.

We went to Tescos and Ella and I bought monsters. Emily didn't buy me any popcorn in return for my graphics work :( But I stole some from Jamie so I was fine. I did actually buy a 36p packet of midget gems. Tesco Value. Tesco Value is such good value!

The whole way through the film I was more hyper than a mentally ill cat with a rocket up it's... bottom. When we got to this really long running scene at the end I was running with the characters to make myself feel more like I was in the scene. I love Hanna. I really do.

Anyhoo, then we went to subway. Then it rained. Then we started running to the train station. Then this old dude asked Jamie for change. Then Emily shouted "We have to catch our train!" at him. Then we ran for a reasonably long distance in the rain to the train (I know that rhymes, it's cool). We ran up the stairs. That was mildly annoying, because my shoes nearly fell off.

When we reached the top I explained to everyone how I was mildly annoyed by my fuzzy tongue. The fuzzy tongue is the reason I don't run. Whenever I run everywhere my tongue gets fuzzy. I don't get out of breath or anything. Just fuzzy.

So yeah, some stuff happened and then we got to Hereford. Catherine Shaw was there - she's Emily's bezzie. I don't really remember what I said, but I slapped myself quite hard in the face several times.

At Ella's house we talked to Jamie for a bit and then he left. And then we went upstairs, put Kickass on and promptly ignored it in favour of building a fort. It was a pretty awesome fort.

Basically, Ella, Emily and I stayed up until half-four bitching about people (Yes, probably you...JK definetely :P...No seriously it was mostly about life in general...but if you're really annoying you probably got a mention.). Yeah. And then we all got up at eight. Emily's not good at getting up. Ooh I feel dizzy. I'm going to leave now I can feel my hold on impeccable grammar and spelling slipping.

Have anice life mr monsters. I love your families cat and the way your say ne mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Other Stuff I Forgot And Today

Before I forget, Emma was kind enough to lend me Sally the squirrel in order to make maths bearable, both yesterday and today. It didn't work, but it was a good effort on her part :P

Nothing too interesting happened today. I made mr Chapman a mug shaped coffee cake, which he seemed to enjoy. Um... R.E. was a rave. Biology... Don't remember. Same applies to maths. Wait, I do remember not being a massive fail in maths.

Oooh, oooh! Got my english result back! Once again, I shall not publish it for fear of offence, but I liked it. I hope everyone else got the results they were hoping for. I was especially pleased seeing as I was dead scared I would epically fail. I was seriously having a panic attack before hand. I actually had a panic attack for most of English. Ella, Emma and Beth clearly found this hilarious. I was literally in hysterics. People should pay my panic attacks more attention. What if I die???

That was school. At home I watched SALT the movie. It's is A. Mazing. The ending kinda pissed me off though. It's so blaze (That's blaz-ay, I just don't have an e with an accent). I'm not sure if I mean that. It just doesn't tie the knots I want tying. If there's never a sequel then I'll have to condemn it as a bad movie. There's just too much build up to leave someone hanging like that. The whole movie was great, full of action - just riveting. Right up until the final scene. Or what should of been the final scene. That finale should have been followed with one calm scene and a nice ending involving very mild anger.

Also watched some ghost whisperer. Because I am sad like that. There's a reason I didn't blog during the holidays- I have no life to blog about.

Okay, that's a lie, tons of weird and amusing things happened during the holidays. Still.

Night guys!

Did I Mention?

Okay, I realised that I've left a couple of things out.

Last Thursday, Emma, Ella, Beth and I all sang a load of disney songs. Our p.e. teacher not only overheard but questioned our reasoning. It's official that she thinks we're mad.

Later on I played tennis with two rackets and sang at the same time. Okay, I generally acted like a loon. That's my life.

Bumbottles.

Off I go then. I'll tell you if I think of anything else :)

I Love My Life

Like your average person, I have my ups and downs (Okay, the ups are way higher than everyone else's but still...). Despite this, I find life totally enjoyable at this point in time.
I'm not going to lie, this may have something to do with the fact that I have just eaten a bit of cake, and have the promise of icing in the future. Who doesn't get cheered up by that news?

Today was normal for me. Somehow slightly more and slightly less eventful than normal. I don't really know where to start. I think I'll start from the beginning (I know, boring. What can I say?)

Physics. First period on a monday. I would like to notify readers that I was perfectly on time this morning, even if my hair was a little sticky-uppy. I fixed it, so we'll pretend it didn't happen. Okay, fine, I'm lying. My hair is always a little sticky-uppy. In any case, I was on time and therefore tired. I kept myself up last night thinking about how many houses could fit on a road and making up songs about falling over.

Back to Physics. Cool lesson. We got to measure everyone's arms. Turns out I have an average size arm. I like this. Ka Oi has teeny weeny arms. Mwahahahaha. Amy was in our group. She is way cool. A teensy bit sarcastic, but she has the quality I look for in every person I know and have the potential to be friends with. She gets my jokes. So yeah, we spent the lesson seeing who was most powerful. I am ashamed to say I didn't win. If only I tried harder. Will's story of his power failure massively scared me.

So, Mr Cinderey says "blah blah blah blah blah- Imogen?" and I randomly speak until something that could be the right answer comes out of my mouth (phrasing everything with a lilt in my voice which makes statements into questions. e.g. "centimetres?"). That was fine. However, my success must have made Mr Cinderey become over-confident in my answering skills. 5 minutes later he is talking about power and BAM! He says "And his arm is eighty-five centimetres long (Ikr, long arm)... The alarm bells are ringing again..." (This is his reference to not measuring distance in centimetres, but in metres) "Imogen?" And I look at him. And then I say "Aaaaah!" and blank him.

So that was Physics. Next was English. Mrs Griffith wasn't there and I didn't do much other than read poems out in a Bristolian accent and the hyperventilate from amusement, so we'll just skip that right out.

P.E! As always, the highlight of the day! How I long for the days when I have P.E. I am not even joking. First though:

I am a teensy bit annoyed.

I mean, first my cake was taken (Okay it was a cake idea, but not only was my theme stolen but I was also made to feel like I had a lack of ability to make cake) and THEN there's what happened in p.e. I'm not really mad at you though. Just a little exasperated.

We were doing the relay in p.e. (Something I actually quite enjoy). I was in a team with Charlotte Hart, Becky Dodd-Cox and Emily Pearce. Now, this is not a team I expect the best from. I cam into this team realising two members were slackers and one was a refuser. This is fine with me. Some people just don't appreciate p.e. These often coincide with those who dislike exercise.

Charlotte outright refused to run. She agreed to walk though. I expected her to just sit on the floor and throw daisies at people. In all honesty, I was mildly proud of her non-effort that involved walking a quarter of the hundred metres she had to go. Let me just remind you that each of us had signed up for a hundred metre sprint.

She got a quarter of the way there. By now the teacher is bored. She yells for me to go anyway. So I do. I start 'sprinting'. I'll be honest, more like fast run. I am currently panicking, as not only has everyone else left, but my relay partner is not where she is supposed to be.

I continue flailing. I mean, running. My speed, in my opinion is quite good. My form, however...

I reach the place where Emily should be. All of the other seconds are now standing around there looking a little tired and mostly relieved they don't have to do anything else. I shout out "I am so confused! I'm panicking, seriously panicking!" and just continue running. I am too dedicated. I need to be more hateful. I also made one of the weirder faces I own in my collection.

In the end, I ran about two hundred metres and then jog/hopped another hundred to where the teacher was. Reason for this? Emily randomly decided to stand ten feet from Becky and call this her area of running. I don't entirely blame her, I also blame Becky, who clearly found this too amusing to point out she was supposed to be on the opposite side of the track.

So that was p.e. Contrary to popular belief, I was actually mildly okay with this. I kind of like running. Don't quote me on that. I prefer cake.

Maths. I can sum that up in two sentences- I saw Jack asleep on his desk. Then I drew individual pictures on my hand.- I'm wrong, I need another one. (The drawing on my hand took deliberated thinking and intense concentration; when I looked up I had only managed to waste ten minutes of my life) That's maths for you. I feel no further explanation is needed, but I will add that I am taught by mr Bo-, I mean Pollock.

Chemistry. I'm vaguely certain that it interested me, but I blanked out whatever happened. Must've been a fun, yet mentally scarring, lesson. XD

I have now got a cake for mr Chapman's 60th birthday tomorrow. It's coffee flavour in the shape of a coffee mug, took two hours to make, and is quite good if I say so myself (which I do).


Getting bored now. I have a yearbook for my year eleven mateys. Right now Amy has it (Write faster, fool!). I will be purchasing an HD video camera with photo options of 8mp for photos and videos to go with it...Yes Ella, we shall have the filming equipment, it is time to paint Will green!

I'm gonna go now. Have a nice night. You should hope you're my friend- if you are then there's some disaster cake from attempt number 1 you may be able to get hold of. Bear in mind that the reason for disaster is that it had to be mug shaped, not that there is something wrong with the cake, and that this one doesn't really taste of coffee... At all...

Nighty night ;)

I Have Mislaid My Sanity

Totally lying. If anyone has some spare sanity, please send it to me. I was born without it. A shame, but not something that has crippled me for life. Much.
God I hate Times New Roman font. It makes me want to stab people. A lot. Which I suppose is a bad thing to publish online. Oh well, what harm can it do? (If I have been arrested tomorrow, please give my drawing of a leprechaun to my cat, Oddie, as he is the only one who will truly appreciate it.)
I've gotten into this terrible habit of singing a few words from a song to a tune vaguely similar to it and then continue with "boo ba boo"s. It's rather annoying, I imagine. I wouldn't know. Also can't stop my foot from tapping. I seriously only just noticed I was doing it. Maybe I shouldn't have had those drinks containing caffiene? AAAAH! PHONE ATTACK!!! I AM FREAKING OUT!!! Phew. It's okay. I covered my ears until it stopped ringing. Major save.
Sorry, I just abandoned you for a bit. Not that you noticed- you're inanimate! (Cue crazy eyes + grin followed by me slowly turning horizontal until I fall off the chair)
I could continue, but I can't much be arsed.

The answer to the question everyone's asking is too big for the minds of mice. Don't ask me for a mix tape, you'll get a cow. OMG I totally love the song 'War(What is it good for?)'. It's my total fave. Nothing in the world beats it. I am going to be singing it all day tomoz.

I can't really play the piano. I really feel like some fruit and nut. Shame I'd have to get up to get it. I'm too lazy for that.

Tennis was SO fun. I love tennis. It's my fave. I don't remember that p.e. teachers name, but she now officially thinks I am very strange. She noticed me singing not just once, not twice, but at least three times. I can't bring myself to be ashamed.

I played with two rackets at one point. I wasn't too bad if I say so myself (which I do...not) Okay, fine. I sucked. But at least I sucked in a cool way.

I like baskets. I am officially writing over three pages in Anna's yearbook just to beat Lucy. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. AND MY... House.

Hahaha my german exchange watched House. You know, the american TV program? No? Who cares! I might at one point in my life own some gummi bears!!!!!!!!

Have a nice night. Avoid cocaine overdoses. Babies and tramps too. Not stray dogs though. They're nice unless they have rabies.

Bye bye ;) xx