Firstly, I'd like to give a little background on Emily's note. I promised to write three paragraphs on it, but I have only twenty minutes- if I don't make sense, it's clearly not my fault.
Okay, so it's 5.30 a.m. German time, 4.30 English. We're standing at the airport checking in. Emily has had a monster. Johanna is there. We spend maybe ten minutes talking about... something. Probably Pimmel. That and taking photos of our feet. What fascinating things feet are. Some people even have fetishes for them, especially toes... but we'll get to that later.
Emily suddenly has a panic attack. Probably because she had to leave Johanna without having had her children. Or given her a lollipop. Or... something else slightly more normal, but probably not because this is Emily we're talking about here, and she's almost as abnormal as me. TML Emily, tml.
She starts sitting on the floor rambling about being more cool than a volcano on a morbidly obese man drinking lighter fluid... No-one listens. After a while she feels slightly better, and we're getting on the plane anyhoo.
We get on the plane. So, I take out my iPod. Emily and I do the cha cha as promised. Will behaves in a mildly strange way. So pretty much everything was normal. Unfortunately, Emily starts investigating the abilities of my iPod. She sees notes. She writes one. I have taken the time to copy up this note in entirety, despite it's length. Look down.
Guten Tag my dear Imogen. How art thou? I am very glucken... I am not entirely sure what this means but hopefully you do because you where the one who said it to me, but then again you are sehr verrukt, so maybe I will just accept. No. I will accept it. ACCEPT IT!!! So, you just bought a fuck load of chocolate and sweets and shit, but not actual, just metaphorical fake shit. Just like my metaphor for how cold I am. As cold as an old morbidly fat obese man whom has just seen another old man with huge toes which turns him on because he has a gay fetish for feet and excess fat... So this man is already pretty hot (not hot as in yummy fit boner type hot, as in a pig is hot if he is stuck inside a greenhouse full of eold morbidly obese fat men who have just seen another old man with huge toes which turns him on because he has a gay fetish for feet and excess fat) Anyway, back to the metaphor. I have actually completely forgotten what I was talking about and I really really really cba to scroll back up to the top to read it because I like typing... A bit like I like just buying things, Jiss. Hmmm, not sure why I wrote that, but it seemed like a hood thing to type to you. Jiss jiss jiss jig while you jiss. Okejxnxndjxkskzjzj. Shitfucktitwankmotherfuckingcunt. *The sad thing is that I am pretty sure I could say most of this* is deutsch, I blame Johanna and her crank brother who likes coke...caine. Hurensohn :) aaaah my favourite German word. Anyhoo, I am going to leave you now because I don't think that I am very funny although this has been rather a fun waste of my shitty time. Bonjour.
That's the first part. Soz for the swearing. Emily is a bad girl. It continues, this one has some input from me.
Arschloch. Just saying man, jizz saying. I suddenly have an obsession with jizz, but that's okay because people jizz in their pants all the time. I don't really know what your talking about (FROM IMMIE: She's talking about me here.), but you keep saying bra and now something about something in young Willy's pants. "Boat's don't have bras. It's funny because it's true. Or is it?... Actually, I saw a bra on a boat once...Nope, that was my gran... I really want to..." I'm not sure what you want to. Jizz maybe?
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I don't really understand either so it's okay. Oooooooooooooooh. Houses and people are the same, wait no ants take things away. I hate ants. My dad boils ants. Kettle. Not in the kettle, not in the kettle- are the ants unhappy because they're being boiled? Wee wee. Pimmel. How is your penis Emily? I want to headbutt fields but not with cows just fields. I don't think you can because it's insulting. I'm special, but I can't hear it maybe because I'm special. But you can't grow water.
*Phwew* Finished. Damn that was a lot to copy. I made it in twenty mins. Just. Don't have any time for my boring life though. I'll just say that about 90% of the last half was quotes from me, but that they're not all direct quotes.
Oh, and Emily put change down my top. This is how that conversation went.
"Emily, what did you put down my top?"
"Mmhhmmhmmh." <- I have no idea what she said. She was laughing too hard.
"Will, what did Emily put down my top?"
"I dunno." More laughing from both. Tbh I don't think Will knows what their laughing about.
"Emily. What did you put down my top?"
...
"Tiny little perverts."
Pause while we all laugh.
...
"Seriously Emily, what did you put down my top?"
...
...
...
...
...
"Tiny. Little. Perverts."
p.s. It was change.
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