Today I have had three cans of coca-cola this means that I am both typing very fast and rather inefficiently. I have to go back and change what I've typed every three letters and even then I'm quite sure some mistakes will get through.
I did my english homework (Yes, it surprised me too) In fact, I think the only reason I completed it was because Kathleen is relying on me.
In anycase, I was just thinking about raisins. Is that how you spell raisins? I don't know. It always surprises me when I eat a raisin, that it was originally a grape. Aren't grapes both nicer and more useful? Why would you do that to a grape? They're naturally alcoholic! (Yeast on grapes and all that jazz...) The point it, while raisins are very nice, doesn't everyone prefer a nice grape? Clearly people wouldn't prefer a bad grape. You know, the grapes that taste nice, but leave your mouth feeling dry and odd. No-one prefers them to raisins.
I'm getting off subject. I wasn't on a subject, but it's the principle that matters. Did you know that the maximum capacity of my internet is only 200 megabytes per second? I know, boring, the point here is that I only get 100 megabytes per second and even if I payed about £200 I wouldn't get any more. And BT have the cheek to advertise the fact that I can. Tell you what though, the music on the old BT advert was amzing. Alice something? It was called hide in the corner I think. Very good song. Helped me a lot with my physics revision (It mentions the world quaking... always reminded me of seismic waves...)
I wonder if I'll ever update this blog. Maybe I will. I don't know. I have commitment issues. I believe they root from the fact that by the end of the week I'm too lazy to do anything combined with the fact that I have the memory of a retarded goldfish (:/ I know right!)
I've lost everything I was going to say and here I will leave you with the full write up of 'The Lady with Rabies', which someday I hope to write a sequel to, despite the rather difficult to continue ending.
Thankyou for reading, and for those who will read it, here is 'The Lady With Rabies':
Brian: "Lucy dear, you are acting rather strangely today." Lucy runs from each side of the room to the other, squeaking as she goes.
Lucy:"I know -squeak- Brian, it - squeak- comes from me -squeak- having rabies."
Brian: "Really dear? How do you know?"
"Because, Brian, I am squeaking!" Lucy stopped, dropped and rolled. "I'm on fire Brian, I'm on fire!!!!!"
Brian: "No Lucy, that's mayonaise."
"Oh" Lucy got up, poured herself a gin and tonic and then sat down.
Only, the chair had been moved so she fell over and poured gin on herself.
"Moles! Save me!"
"Still mayonaise dear."
Lucy got up, removed her hat, and ran outside. Brian followed.
"Lucy darling, what are you doing up that pylon?"
"Checking the phone line for bats!"
Lucy grinned like a loon and then threw cheese at the old lady next door.
"You cheesy lady!!!!"
The lady turned around, made a demon face and then ignored her.
"You know you shouldn't annoy cheesy people. They're cannibals."
"So what Brian?!?! I hate you AND your mayonaise!!!"
Brain frowned. "My mayonaise resents that." Then he walked into a lampost.
Lucy laughed before falling off the pylon and landing on the old lady who then started to eat her.
"Told you" said Brian who was now curved around the lampost.
Lucy frowned also as the lady chewed on her arm. After a few seconds she decided she didn't like it.
"Cheesy lady! You get off my arm!" The cheesy lady punched her.
"owwwww!"
Then the dragon that lost it's frisbee appeared! (reference to another story)
"Unhand my frisbee cheesy lady!"
Unfortunately, it stepped on Brian. He was killed instantly. So was the lampost.
The dragon then scooped up Lucy and began juggling her and singing "Here little frisbee :)". Lucy screamed.
"Shut up!" said the dragon. "I want you to sing 'I'm a frisbee'!"
...
...
"I'm a frisbee lalala... I'm a frisbee mooooo-ooo."
Then they all died. The end. :)
Lucy:"I know -squeak- Brian, it - squeak- comes from me -squeak- having rabies."
Brian: "Really dear? How do you know?"
"Because, Brian, I am squeaking!" Lucy stopped, dropped and rolled. "I'm on fire Brian, I'm on fire!!!!!"
Brian: "No Lucy, that's mayonaise."
"Oh" Lucy got up, poured herself a gin and tonic and then sat down.
Only, the chair had been moved so she fell over and poured gin on herself.
"Moles! Save me!"
"Still mayonaise dear."
Lucy got up, removed her hat, and ran outside. Brian followed.
"Lucy darling, what are you doing up that pylon?"
"Checking the phone line for bats!"
Lucy grinned like a loon and then threw cheese at the old lady next door.
"You cheesy lady!!!!"
The lady turned around, made a demon face and then ignored her.
"You know you shouldn't annoy cheesy people. They're cannibals."
"So what Brian?!?! I hate you AND your mayonaise!!!"
Brain frowned. "My mayonaise resents that." Then he walked into a lampost.
Lucy laughed before falling off the pylon and landing on the old lady who then started to eat her.
"Told you" said Brian who was now curved around the lampost.
Lucy frowned also as the lady chewed on her arm. After a few seconds she decided she didn't like it.
"Cheesy lady! You get off my arm!" The cheesy lady punched her.
"owwwww!"
Then the dragon that lost it's frisbee appeared! (reference to another story)
"Unhand my frisbee cheesy lady!"
Unfortunately, it stepped on Brian. He was killed instantly. So was the lampost.
The dragon then scooped up Lucy and began juggling her and singing "Here little frisbee :)". Lucy screamed.
"Shut up!" said the dragon. "I want you to sing 'I'm a frisbee'!"
...
...
"I'm a frisbee lalala... I'm a frisbee mooooo-ooo."
Then they all died. The end. :)
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