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Saturday 14 May 2011

Ok, so I'm a freak. What's it to you?

This title makes it sound like I'm angry. I'm not. But lets just rewind to yesterday, quite frankly because it was more fun then.

So...We went to see Insidious at the cinema!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went all the way to Gloucester! I can't remember how long it took, but the train had a leak. A creepy leak. Like, a water leak. And it dripped. Ella's foot got wet.

I feel really bad for you guys! The entire story is pretty much hilarious, but I'm too tired to bother putting detail in- you'll find out why.

So, basically we all got rejected for it because Adam and James didn't have ID. Not that everyone else did. They just looked young. Ella and I brought ID. I ended up showing the guy my ID for no reason. I was like "I have ID!...Wanna see it?"..."Wait! No! You can't see it! I hate my photo! Nooooooo!.....Actually I don't really know you, so it's okay. Take it, take it now!". Yeah. So instead we all watched Hanna. Which is pretty amazing. Like bang bang shooty shooty deady deady!!!

I'm going to quote it now: "I think when I'm older I might be a lesbian...But I'd only hold hands and I think I'd end up marrying a man." Mwahahahahahaha.

We went to Tescos and Ella and I bought monsters. Emily didn't buy me any popcorn in return for my graphics work :( But I stole some from Jamie so I was fine. I did actually buy a 36p packet of midget gems. Tesco Value. Tesco Value is such good value!

The whole way through the film I was more hyper than a mentally ill cat with a rocket up it's... bottom. When we got to this really long running scene at the end I was running with the characters to make myself feel more like I was in the scene. I love Hanna. I really do.

Anyhoo, then we went to subway. Then it rained. Then we started running to the train station. Then this old dude asked Jamie for change. Then Emily shouted "We have to catch our train!" at him. Then we ran for a reasonably long distance in the rain to the train (I know that rhymes, it's cool). We ran up the stairs. That was mildly annoying, because my shoes nearly fell off.

When we reached the top I explained to everyone how I was mildly annoyed by my fuzzy tongue. The fuzzy tongue is the reason I don't run. Whenever I run everywhere my tongue gets fuzzy. I don't get out of breath or anything. Just fuzzy.

So yeah, some stuff happened and then we got to Hereford. Catherine Shaw was there - she's Emily's bezzie. I don't really remember what I said, but I slapped myself quite hard in the face several times.

At Ella's house we talked to Jamie for a bit and then he left. And then we went upstairs, put Kickass on and promptly ignored it in favour of building a fort. It was a pretty awesome fort.

Basically, Ella, Emily and I stayed up until half-four bitching about people (Yes, probably you...JK definetely :P...No seriously it was mostly about life in general...but if you're really annoying you probably got a mention.). Yeah. And then we all got up at eight. Emily's not good at getting up. Ooh I feel dizzy. I'm going to leave now I can feel my hold on impeccable grammar and spelling slipping.

Have anice life mr monsters. I love your families cat and the way your say ne mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Tuesday 10 May 2011

Other Stuff I Forgot And Today

Before I forget, Emma was kind enough to lend me Sally the squirrel in order to make maths bearable, both yesterday and today. It didn't work, but it was a good effort on her part :P

Nothing too interesting happened today. I made mr Chapman a mug shaped coffee cake, which he seemed to enjoy. Um... R.E. was a rave. Biology... Don't remember. Same applies to maths. Wait, I do remember not being a massive fail in maths.

Oooh, oooh! Got my english result back! Once again, I shall not publish it for fear of offence, but I liked it. I hope everyone else got the results they were hoping for. I was especially pleased seeing as I was dead scared I would epically fail. I was seriously having a panic attack before hand. I actually had a panic attack for most of English. Ella, Emma and Beth clearly found this hilarious. I was literally in hysterics. People should pay my panic attacks more attention. What if I die???

That was school. At home I watched SALT the movie. It's is A. Mazing. The ending kinda pissed me off though. It's so blaze (That's blaz-ay, I just don't have an e with an accent). I'm not sure if I mean that. It just doesn't tie the knots I want tying. If there's never a sequel then I'll have to condemn it as a bad movie. There's just too much build up to leave someone hanging like that. The whole movie was great, full of action - just riveting. Right up until the final scene. Or what should of been the final scene. That finale should have been followed with one calm scene and a nice ending involving very mild anger.

Also watched some ghost whisperer. Because I am sad like that. There's a reason I didn't blog during the holidays- I have no life to blog about.

Okay, that's a lie, tons of weird and amusing things happened during the holidays. Still.

Night guys!

Monday 9 May 2011

Did I Mention?

Okay, I realised that I've left a couple of things out.

Last Thursday, Emma, Ella, Beth and I all sang a load of disney songs. Our p.e. teacher not only overheard but questioned our reasoning. It's official that she thinks we're mad.

Later on I played tennis with two rackets and sang at the same time. Okay, I generally acted like a loon. That's my life.

Bumbottles.

Off I go then. I'll tell you if I think of anything else :)

I Love My Life

Like your average person, I have my ups and downs (Okay, the ups are way higher than everyone else's but still...). Despite this, I find life totally enjoyable at this point in time.
I'm not going to lie, this may have something to do with the fact that I have just eaten a bit of cake, and have the promise of icing in the future. Who doesn't get cheered up by that news?

Today was normal for me. Somehow slightly more and slightly less eventful than normal. I don't really know where to start. I think I'll start from the beginning (I know, boring. What can I say?)

Physics. First period on a monday. I would like to notify readers that I was perfectly on time this morning, even if my hair was a little sticky-uppy. I fixed it, so we'll pretend it didn't happen. Okay, fine, I'm lying. My hair is always a little sticky-uppy. In any case, I was on time and therefore tired. I kept myself up last night thinking about how many houses could fit on a road and making up songs about falling over.

Back to Physics. Cool lesson. We got to measure everyone's arms. Turns out I have an average size arm. I like this. Ka Oi has teeny weeny arms. Mwahahahaha. Amy was in our group. She is way cool. A teensy bit sarcastic, but she has the quality I look for in every person I know and have the potential to be friends with. She gets my jokes. So yeah, we spent the lesson seeing who was most powerful. I am ashamed to say I didn't win. If only I tried harder. Will's story of his power failure massively scared me.

So, Mr Cinderey says "blah blah blah blah blah- Imogen?" and I randomly speak until something that could be the right answer comes out of my mouth (phrasing everything with a lilt in my voice which makes statements into questions. e.g. "centimetres?"). That was fine. However, my success must have made Mr Cinderey become over-confident in my answering skills. 5 minutes later he is talking about power and BAM! He says "And his arm is eighty-five centimetres long (Ikr, long arm)... The alarm bells are ringing again..." (This is his reference to not measuring distance in centimetres, but in metres) "Imogen?" And I look at him. And then I say "Aaaaah!" and blank him.

So that was Physics. Next was English. Mrs Griffith wasn't there and I didn't do much other than read poems out in a Bristolian accent and the hyperventilate from amusement, so we'll just skip that right out.

P.E! As always, the highlight of the day! How I long for the days when I have P.E. I am not even joking. First though:

I am a teensy bit annoyed.

I mean, first my cake was taken (Okay it was a cake idea, but not only was my theme stolen but I was also made to feel like I had a lack of ability to make cake) and THEN there's what happened in p.e. I'm not really mad at you though. Just a little exasperated.

We were doing the relay in p.e. (Something I actually quite enjoy). I was in a team with Charlotte Hart, Becky Dodd-Cox and Emily Pearce. Now, this is not a team I expect the best from. I cam into this team realising two members were slackers and one was a refuser. This is fine with me. Some people just don't appreciate p.e. These often coincide with those who dislike exercise.

Charlotte outright refused to run. She agreed to walk though. I expected her to just sit on the floor and throw daisies at people. In all honesty, I was mildly proud of her non-effort that involved walking a quarter of the hundred metres she had to go. Let me just remind you that each of us had signed up for a hundred metre sprint.

She got a quarter of the way there. By now the teacher is bored. She yells for me to go anyway. So I do. I start 'sprinting'. I'll be honest, more like fast run. I am currently panicking, as not only has everyone else left, but my relay partner is not where she is supposed to be.

I continue flailing. I mean, running. My speed, in my opinion is quite good. My form, however...

I reach the place where Emily should be. All of the other seconds are now standing around there looking a little tired and mostly relieved they don't have to do anything else. I shout out "I am so confused! I'm panicking, seriously panicking!" and just continue running. I am too dedicated. I need to be more hateful. I also made one of the weirder faces I own in my collection.

In the end, I ran about two hundred metres and then jog/hopped another hundred to where the teacher was. Reason for this? Emily randomly decided to stand ten feet from Becky and call this her area of running. I don't entirely blame her, I also blame Becky, who clearly found this too amusing to point out she was supposed to be on the opposite side of the track.

So that was p.e. Contrary to popular belief, I was actually mildly okay with this. I kind of like running. Don't quote me on that. I prefer cake.

Maths. I can sum that up in two sentences- I saw Jack asleep on his desk. Then I drew individual pictures on my hand.- I'm wrong, I need another one. (The drawing on my hand took deliberated thinking and intense concentration; when I looked up I had only managed to waste ten minutes of my life) That's maths for you. I feel no further explanation is needed, but I will add that I am taught by mr Bo-, I mean Pollock.

Chemistry. I'm vaguely certain that it interested me, but I blanked out whatever happened. Must've been a fun, yet mentally scarring, lesson. XD

I have now got a cake for mr Chapman's 60th birthday tomorrow. It's coffee flavour in the shape of a coffee mug, took two hours to make, and is quite good if I say so myself (which I do).


Getting bored now. I have a yearbook for my year eleven mateys. Right now Amy has it (Write faster, fool!). I will be purchasing an HD video camera with photo options of 8mp for photos and videos to go with it...Yes Ella, we shall have the filming equipment, it is time to paint Will green!

I'm gonna go now. Have a nice night. You should hope you're my friend- if you are then there's some disaster cake from attempt number 1 you may be able to get hold of. Bear in mind that the reason for disaster is that it had to be mug shaped, not that there is something wrong with the cake, and that this one doesn't really taste of coffee... At all...

Nighty night ;)

Thursday 5 May 2011

I Have Mislaid My Sanity

Totally lying. If anyone has some spare sanity, please send it to me. I was born without it. A shame, but not something that has crippled me for life. Much.
God I hate Times New Roman font. It makes me want to stab people. A lot. Which I suppose is a bad thing to publish online. Oh well, what harm can it do? (If I have been arrested tomorrow, please give my drawing of a leprechaun to my cat, Oddie, as he is the only one who will truly appreciate it.)
I've gotten into this terrible habit of singing a few words from a song to a tune vaguely similar to it and then continue with "boo ba boo"s. It's rather annoying, I imagine. I wouldn't know. Also can't stop my foot from tapping. I seriously only just noticed I was doing it. Maybe I shouldn't have had those drinks containing caffiene? AAAAH! PHONE ATTACK!!! I AM FREAKING OUT!!! Phew. It's okay. I covered my ears until it stopped ringing. Major save.
Sorry, I just abandoned you for a bit. Not that you noticed- you're inanimate! (Cue crazy eyes + grin followed by me slowly turning horizontal until I fall off the chair)
I could continue, but I can't much be arsed.

The answer to the question everyone's asking is too big for the minds of mice. Don't ask me for a mix tape, you'll get a cow. OMG I totally love the song 'War(What is it good for?)'. It's my total fave. Nothing in the world beats it. I am going to be singing it all day tomoz.

I can't really play the piano. I really feel like some fruit and nut. Shame I'd have to get up to get it. I'm too lazy for that.

Tennis was SO fun. I love tennis. It's my fave. I don't remember that p.e. teachers name, but she now officially thinks I am very strange. She noticed me singing not just once, not twice, but at least three times. I can't bring myself to be ashamed.

I played with two rackets at one point. I wasn't too bad if I say so myself (which I do...not) Okay, fine. I sucked. But at least I sucked in a cool way.

I like baskets. I am officially writing over three pages in Anna's yearbook just to beat Lucy. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. AND MY... House.

Hahaha my german exchange watched House. You know, the american TV program? No? Who cares! I might at one point in my life own some gummi bears!!!!!!!!

Have a nice night. Avoid cocaine overdoses. Babies and tramps too. Not stray dogs though. They're nice unless they have rabies.

Bye bye ;) xx

Wednesday 4 May 2011

Bondage and other ordinary things

So, William. Here I am, looking like a fool, writing about bondage. I'll be honest, I don't have much experience in this area. Even if I did used to occasionally tie myself to the bed as a child simply to prove I could escape. What can I say? My sister wasn't much company. I suppose that's a testament to what Will was saying. There isn't enough bondage in the world.
                   Now, I can't say that I definetely agree with that but, having seen very little (no) bondage in my lifetime, I have to be honest. It is certainly restricted. I don't have too much to say on the subject I'm afraid, what with the thrums of bonjovi running through my speakers. Bonjovi is distracting. At lunchtime today, Anna asked me to hold on to her, and I burst out singing 'Livin' on a Prayer'. Fortunately, both she and Naha joined in. The rest of the room full of year 11s thought us a little odd. Still. The point is that Bonjovi is all-consuming- and therefore not something to listen to when multi-tasking.
                 I went to the mayfair today. Ella and I shared a mahoosive bag of candy-floss. I was probably hyper the whole time. I also had a McDonalds happy meal :'). And then I sat in the car and nearly went to sleep with my major sugar come down. If Will is reading this he probably just laughed at the word 'come'. Even if I did 'spell it wrong'.
                 People kept staring at me when I was sitting on the floor with Will and Ella's bags. Tbf, Idc. Suck it. And my amazing text language. Up your bottoms. That's right. I am starting. Are you talking to me? I will put my facial features in your personal space area!
                I'm quite cold, despite the fact it's summer. My house is always cold :/ Especially my bedroom. Not that I'm in my bedroom. My pc gets no Wi-Fi :(
               Never did I think I would look forward to school. I mean, I have HUMUNGOUS amounts of homework to do. (Don't care if I spelled humungous wrong). That's what the weekend is for. Just kidding. That's what the twenty minutes before school starts are for XD
               I don't like to hugely show-off, but I am super pleased with my Science results. I told my parents I would be getting them today yesterday. They still haven't asked. Either they've forgotten, or they're afraid that my R.E. result wasn't a one off and that I'm a real fail. Maybe on friday I'll get my English back too. Anyone reading this probably already knows what I got, so I won't bother writing it. I still don't really believe it anyway. Wouldn't want to publish it only to find out later that I'm actually a retard and the markers were messing with me for a social experiment.
                  Soz. I'm accidently becoming boring. Side-effect of sugar come-down. More sugar in my body, more interesting I am. At least, kind of. It's like that thing with gremlins (Don't let them drink alcohol before 6). So long as I don't have anything too sugary I remain at an acceptable weird rating of about eight. As soon as I get the sugar I reach the 9-10 area. Sugar come-down brings me down to a 6 and puts me up to a 4 on the mildly depressing scale.
                So, I guess I'm nearly finished. In all fairness my banana is nowhere near full enough to sustain your Suzuki.
                It's my life it's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive. Words of Queen. I love Queen. Not the Queen. Not that I have anything against her. I just don't love her. You can't get arrested for not loving the queen can you? Sozzard queeny, love you really. Especially your yellow dress. I saw you in something similar the year before last for your christmas speech. Positively dashing.
              I called tights "Tree socks" today. To be totally fair, it was in German, and the German word for tree and leg are similar. Baum and Beim. Okay, fine. Not that similar. Personally I quite like the idea of calling them "Tree socks." Of course, we could just call them tights if we knew the German word for tights.
             The cord of my study phone hangs down and wraps around the lamp. It looks like it's strangling it. That's quite mean. I should have a word with it. I should have smelt like strawberry jam today. This I like. Not that I'm too fond of strawberry jam. Not that I don't like it. I'm fine with strawberry jam. I just rarely eat it. In fact, it's quite delicious.
             I feel like I should develope strange eating habits to go with my personality. When I was a child I used to make chilly puree toasties. Chilly puree, cheese and occasionally tomato ketchup. I enjoy chips and milkshake greatly, even if I rarely have a milkshake to dip them in. If I dipped my chips in my milkshake in the presence of my dad he would go ballistic. Ballistic means powered by gunpowder or something similar. Let me look it up. It is the science of mechanics that deal with projectiles (i.e. bullets, missiles and such). Therefore someone who has 'gone ballistic' has turned into a gun. I suppose it refers to the fact that they might throw something. I don't like people throwing things at me.

Bored now. Probs gonna finish. I do still have my mini shopping trolley.

p.s. I am very mildly annoyed with Jack and Emily for not coming to town. Ly really :)
p.p.s. Tomorrow we have p.e. Tennis. 'Me throwing the ball at Ella. "The ball is my mum Ella." I throw it so that it lightly taps her shoulder. "My mum is hitting on you."

Monday 2 May 2011

First Official Post Will Appear Wednesday

An antidisestablishmentarianismist was once surprised when a duck shouted "bamboozle!" at him.
The end.
bamboozle. Antidisestablishmentarianismist.

Wednesday 13 April 2011

Graphics Jazz and all that Work

I am currently sitting in graphics and hating on the fonts which are not Arial or Verdana. And hating on your mum. JK lol, it would be really difficult to hate on all your mums at the same time. not that I couldn't do it. I'm actually that good.... Anyway. So, this is my alternative to Graphics work. In a way it's totally a positive move 'cos I don't have to do this later. Instead I may well decide that today is the day I choose to live in a cave. Not that there is a cave near me. But still. Ella has now decided she is a cave. Which I suppose means I can live in her- Which is very odd. She has changed her mind now. She's actually just a cave liver who doubles as its £500 extension with bathroom.
I learned that Hatte is the same in German no matter who had it. Not at all relevant. I just sneezed. A bit.
REmember that this is being typed on a very hard keyboard. It's almost as hard as Will's... We'll not go there. Ella is nodding and dancing like a pixie on LSD. Is that right? Just realised that there are seriously upmarket rape straighteners. Seriously. The GHB straighteners. RAPE STRAIGHTENERS. I suppose this is kind of like rape to make someone straight, which also makes them mildly homophobic.
It wasn't me. No seriously. It was Zoe. She's such a bum. Which reminds me, today in Biology I wrote in my planner "Finish it you bumface." I'm so insulting to myself. I was also looking at a page Will saved on my account. 21 reasons why Immie should be a moped. I could copy them but I cba. I mentioned the time before last that I have CBA syndrome. This fact remains true.

I don't want to keep doing this atm, but I'm going to. That's what you're mum thought when you turned 8. Will should grow his hair. It would look better longer.

It was really strange a couple of years ago, Mr Foggo said mouses. I mean seriously. He said mouses, then we were like "No sir, it's totally mice tho innit." and he was like "Oh, k 'den I is just talking about my mices." and we was like "No 'dat is totally 'do innit?" and he was like "K 'den I is talking bout ma meeces innit?" And we was like this is just gone be a fail. Innit.

I don't know why computer mice are called mice. It implies that they have the ability to behave like mice. Have you ever had all of your bird food eaten by a computer mouse? I haven't. But then, that's just my personal experience. I have had it eaten by a normal mouse. It was really funny, because my mum got very confused. She went to get more bird food from the garage, but the container was empty. She was like WTF?!?!?!?! An I was like haha.
Anyway, so we randomly go through the drawers of this dresser in the garage. Turns out this mouse has individually moved every single nut from this bird food thing into this one drawer in the garage. Yeah. Degu's are cool...er than Ella.

I DIDN'T SAY THAT! IT WAS THE VOICES IN MY HEAD.

The voices in my head say they like you :)

I'm hobophobic. That means I am afraid of homeless people. Or at least that's what I'm pretending it means.

I cba to do this anymore. That is, I cba to deal with life. If I don't turn up tomoz, assume I'm dead. don't be too upset plz. See you guys... whenever. Or never. You know, depends on if I decide to live.
Have a nice life.

p.s. Anna is a guy.

Tuesday 12 April 2011

Emily's Note and My Boring Life So Far

Firstly, I'd like to give a little background on Emily's note. I promised to write three paragraphs on it, but I have only twenty minutes- if I don't make sense, it's clearly not my fault.

Okay, so it's 5.30 a.m. German time, 4.30 English. We're standing at the airport checking in. Emily has had a monster. Johanna is there. We spend maybe ten minutes talking about... something. Probably Pimmel. That and taking photos of our feet. What fascinating things feet are. Some people even have fetishes for them, especially toes... but we'll get to that later.

Emily suddenly has a panic attack. Probably because she had to leave Johanna without having had her children. Or given her a lollipop. Or... something else slightly more normal, but probably not because this is Emily we're talking about here, and she's almost as abnormal as me. TML Emily, tml.

She starts sitting on the floor rambling about being more cool than a volcano on a morbidly obese man drinking lighter fluid... No-one listens. After a while she feels slightly better, and we're getting on the plane anyhoo.

We get on the plane. So, I take out my iPod. Emily and I do the cha cha as promised. Will behaves in a mildly strange way. So pretty much everything was normal. Unfortunately, Emily starts investigating the abilities of my iPod. She sees notes. She writes one. I have taken the time to copy up this note in entirety, despite it's length. Look down.


Guten Tag my dear Imogen. How art thou? I am very glucken... I am not entirely sure what this means but hopefully you do because you where the one who said it to me, but then again you are sehr verrukt, so maybe I will just accept. No. I will accept it. ACCEPT IT!!! So, you just bought a fuck load of chocolate and sweets and shit, but not actual, just metaphorical fake shit. Just like my metaphor for how cold I am. As cold as an old morbidly fat obese man whom has just seen another old man with huge toes which turns him on because he has a gay fetish for feet and excess fat... So this man is already pretty hot (not hot as in yummy fit boner type hot, as in a pig is hot if he is stuck inside a greenhouse full of eold morbidly obese fat men who have just seen another old man with huge toes which turns him on because he has a gay fetish for feet and excess fat) Anyway, back to the metaphor. I have actually completely forgotten what I was talking about and I really really really cba to scroll back up to the top to read it because I like typing... A bit like I like just buying things, Jiss. Hmmm, not sure why I wrote that, but it seemed like a hood thing to type to you. Jiss jiss jiss jig while you jiss. Okejxnxndjxkskzjzj. Shitfucktitwankmotherfuckingcunt. *The sad thing is that I am pretty sure I could say most of this* is deutsch, I blame Johanna and her crank brother who likes coke...caine. Hurensohn :) aaaah my favourite German word. Anyhoo, I am going to leave you now because I don't think that I am very funny although this has been rather a fun waste of my shitty time. Bonjour.


That's the first part. Soz for the swearing. Emily is a bad girl. It continues, this one has some input from me.

Arschloch. Just saying man, jizz saying. I suddenly have an obsession with jizz, but that's okay because people jizz in their pants all the time. I don't really know what your talking about (FROM IMMIE: She's talking about me here.), but you keep saying bra and now something about something in young Willy's pants. "Boat's don't have bras. It's funny because it's true. Or is it?... Actually, I saw a bra on a boat once...Nope, that was my gran... I really want to..." I'm not sure what you want to. Jizz maybe?
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I don't really understand either so it's okay. Oooooooooooooooh. Houses and people are the same, wait no ants take things away. I hate ants. My dad boils ants. Kettle. Not in the kettle, not in the kettle- are the ants unhappy because they're being boiled? Wee wee. Pimmel. How is your penis Emily? I want to headbutt fields but not with cows just fields. I don't think you can because it's insulting. I'm special, but I can't hear it maybe because I'm special. But you can't grow water.


*Phwew* Finished. Damn that was a lot to copy. I made it in twenty mins. Just. Don't have any time for my boring life though. I'll just say that about 90% of the last half was quotes from me, but that they're not all direct quotes.

Oh, and Emily put change down my top. This is how that conversation went.

"Emily, what did you put down my top?"
"Mmhhmmhmmh." <- I have no idea what she said. She was laughing too hard.
"Will, what did Emily put down my top?"
"I dunno." More laughing from both. Tbh I don't think Will knows what their laughing about.
"Emily. What did you put down my top?"
...
"Tiny little perverts."
Pause while we all laugh.
...
"Seriously Emily, what did you put down my top?"
...
...
...
...
...
"Tiny. Little. Perverts."


p.s. It was change.

Sunday 10 April 2011

Germany, England and the weird bit in between.

Firstly, the weird bit in between is not Wales.
I don't really know where to start here. I could give you a whole description of my time in Germany, but I don't think it would be particularly funny and anyway I can't be bothered. I'll tell you a little though.

I bought a shopping trolley the day before we left. It is now residing on my windowsill with a tiny teddy bear sitting in the childs seat. I should take a photo, but my C.B.A. (I have now been diagnosed) prevents me from doing so. I hope you all know what C.B.A. is, I mean, it's far more common than OCD. In most cases C.B.A. first shows symptoms during the teenage years. I'm actually a late bloomer.
(For those of you who are actually confused by this a) You are some of the few people who need to think more, for most this is bad, but you guys need practice. and b) It's "can't be asked" syndrome, fools.)

I have a can of nuts. Still haven't finished it. It's funny 'cause, should mr.T randomly turn up at my house and say "Get some nuts!" I can just be like "yeah, I have some. In a can.".
Ate all the Milka though. My trolley is so cool.
I have about 8 ducks and a massive bag of gummy planes for monday. I sincerely doubt either will last until lunch time.

So, Germany. I'm gonna try and fit this into one paragraph. Friday: I can't remember. Pretty much at all. I remember Noah. There's a photo of Noah... Saturday: Awkwardness + the zoo. Nuremberg zoo is fantasmical. HUGE. Got a teensy bit sunburnt. Saw a dolphin show. One of them was 51 years old an I was like "Woah that's old." and my exchange was like "What? I do not understand you :S". Sunday: Swimming with Pippa. Hilarious. Pippa is stupid. Soz Pippa, you're actually like well clever, innit. Kind of insulting to my self-confidence though, because she started laughing as soon as she saw my face. Especially since I didn't know Pippa before. I thought she was German. I thought some random German was laughing my face. Insulting much? Turns out German swimming is really violent. I still have two bruises on my elbow and one massive one on my knee from swimming. It was a really interesting shade of purple. Monday: Was in school. Was in the middle of R.E. when my exchange's friend and this guy are talking about something, and she says to him "Was ist '....' auf Englisch?" and he just turns to me and says "Penis.". Then he leaves. I was just like -.-. And then I spent R.E. singing "Ich bin nicht ein Fisch, ich bin eine Kartoffeln." I now know this is wrong, but I can't change the past. I have this joke with my exchange where I say "Laura liebt kinder" (Laura loves children.) a lot. So when, at break time on monday, this little kid ran up to me and hugged me, I was a little freaked out. Really freaked out. No-one knew the kid. They didn't know me. Just "Hey I'll hug that randomer!". Freaky. Then someone threw ten cents at me. Mmmm ten cents. Tuesday: Documentation centre. Lots of Nazism. Generally a little depressing and weird. Mrs Greenwood listened to our conversation about a woman with one giant boob and one tiny boob. That was awkward.
Wednesday: Emily's birthday. All the exchanges where there. Pretty amazing. Most fun day by far. Even if the German lady did keep telling Johanna and I to stop talking. She was so angry. Thursday: Shopping + weird lady who "before we left I had a very big WAG-on." Say it. What does that sound like? Yeah. I know. Shopping was good. Went to see giant kebab. We were too late. We saw the line where the giant kebab was and some chocolate. It was all Emily's fault. Friday: Went home. Had a monster. Went friggin' loony.

Germany in a paragraph. I'll admit, if that was proper English it'd probably be in seperate paragraphs. I don't particularly care.

Can't really remember much of friday/saturday. Today we went out for lunch. When we came back my parents saw a friend of their's and walked off for a chat. With the house keys.

So, I'm stuck out of the house. I go round back to find my cat. The windows open. I've gone through it before...
Yeah, I broke into my house through the window. Only problem is, I was then locked IN the house. See, my parents locked the main lock. Kinda annoying. Anyway. Annoyed my parents, so...

Don't ask about what happened on the coach after Emily, Will and Jack got off (Hahahaha Emily, Will and Jack got off. Together. In Ledbury.) See what they've done to me? Emily, Jack and Will, you have warped my mind.

I was forced to interact with Mike and George... George gave me this weird perverted ladybird... I was still being affected by the monster that I drank earlier... All I remember is being really bored and talking about how it was unfair to have different number of signs on each corner, because then the corner was only shiny on one side and somehow that was related to...purple??

Yeah, so. I might post tomorrow. If I do it'll be more interesting because it'll be instant ramble.
Oh, and now I have to find Emily's present...somewhere. I have no idea where it is. I'm stupid.

Did I mention that on the first night I repeatedly told my German exchange and her family that I was stupid? At least 5 times. In fact, I told her do 5 stupid things everyday. Which is true.

Yell at yellow pages!!!!!!!

My exchange lives at number 5 jupiterwinkel. Now you may stalk her.

Over and out ;)

Saturday 26 March 2011

Caerdydd

That's the Welsh name for Cardiff. It's been a long time since we last spoke, I'm sorry for that. Not all my fault, but I'll take some blame. I'll start with Wednesday, since that's as far back as I can remember.

So, Wednesday is History and Science day. I can't remember what we did in Biology. In Chemistry we burned some magnesium. That was scary. It was mega-hot (Like me ;) JK lol), and it also smelled weird (Also like me...Not. If you tell me I smell weird I'll hit you.). Plus we had to put our hands vaguely near the VERY VERY VERY hot bunsen burner, that was on roaring flame.

Actually though, our chemistry experiment was a success. Katie and I persevered. Well I did. Mostly Katie giggled and watched. Not that I object. To be honest, that's what I did too. I wonder how our experiment got done? I guess it must've been low maintenence... Mr Smith knows us so well...

Moving on to History. I remember this part clearly. Will was having an 'off' day. Or rather, he was beheaving as if he was on drugs. More than usual. Which made History more interesting. I can't even remember exactly what he was doing, only that he was being odd. He was telling some story where Jack's brother went missing, so Jack followed him onto an oil rig with a load of extremists. Then the oil rig turned out to be a T-rex. Then ten years later Jack woke up in bed with a monkey. Or something. That was History.

Then I had Graphics, in which I did very little. Afterwards I stayed afterchool with Ella. We filled in a 120 question Harry Potter quiz, to find out which house we were in. Ella was a Gryffindor. I was an epic fail Hufflepuff :/ But I was far less Slytherin than Ella was XD Then Lois Walby started talking to us about Harry Potter and Doctor Who. I think she was trying to mock us. It didn't work. We're too cool to be mocked. Oh, and then I wore Ella's fairy wings for the walk to the Cock of Tupsley. I think I worked them.

On Wednesday I found out about the concert I was singing in on Thursday, so we'll move straight through to Thursday now. German was boring. I sat by Jack and learned Wavagok. Emily was ill. Will was still being odd. He got mad at me because the dictionary at school disagreed with the dictionary at my house about the meaning of a certain word. I won't say which. He then started shouting out rude German words, as if the German teacher wouldn't understand. Bad Will. I gave Ella and Emily an Oreo (copyright) to share. Or was that friday? I think that was friday.

So yeah, thursday was dull generally... until the concert! I was a teensy bit late, but we sang in the second half, so that had no effect. Beth gave me interesting hair, Anna gave me sweets, Emily was randomly amused. Somehow conversation with Beth ended up turning to umbilical cord sausage. That was disconcerting. I was AMAZING at pictionary. That is, I was until Mr Sutton walked in. He ruins everything. Like his own life. I'm sorry Mr Sutton, I didn't mean that... Don't hurt me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David played(By plucking the strings) the cord from 'Smoke On The Water' on a violin and Anna said something funny. To quote her, she said "Wow, you can play the violin!" then we were all like "Anna, that's not how you play the violin.". Then Anna said the funniest thing of the night. She said "I know.", then "He knows where to put his fingers.". We died. Literally. Naha collapsed and we debated on whether or not we should do CPR. We decided against it, and Amy sat on her. Worked like a charm.

I got incredibly hyper, and the floor in the Old Dining Hall was sticky, like it always is at concerts. Then I spoke to Noah's sister Echo. She's in choir too. She told me how her mum had 36 children. Then I got all Michael Mcintyrey and impersonated her mother saying "Sometimes I take work home, and I find myself writing pi on all thirty-six of my children's faces with chalk." She meant her mum teaches thirty-six children. I was still amused. So was she when she realised what she said.

That was Thursday. Friday was less interesting again. I had to go to Flicks instead of Rock Night. :/ I watched a good movie though.

Today. Cardiff. I went shopping for Germany. I have bought a pair of jeans, a Superman/woman Tee and an oversized Little Big Planet Tee. I got an oversized one so that I can wear it as a sleep-tee after. I also bought some sun-glasses. Becuase I wanted too. Then I wore them home. My dad said I looked stupid. I said his face did.

FUN RAMBLING STARTS HERE. Jk lol, this bits well boring innit?

Aren't desk-lamps useful? They double up as both lamp and heater, something very useful in a house as cold as mine. I mean, if you're weird and you have newish updated desk-lamps then you'll be freezing cold. That's what you get for modernising.

I don't have any decent highlighters. This is not something I used to care about. Unfortunately for me, I saw Emma's maths book on Friday (While she was singing to herself about being a neat fairy.). She is a neat fairy. She also underlined one title in my maths book. This makes the small OCD voice in my head want to highlight all other titles.

My sister unmade the multi-coloured necklace of paper clips that I made. She's so weird. Why would she do that? I don't know. I really don't know. No-one wants to bid on my tiger tail. It is now for sale. Opening bid of 20p. Money goes to comic relief.

It seriously is cold. I should change the words of that other song I wrote to 'It's a little bit chilly when you come inside.'

Today I have eaten a bowl of chilli, a mini-roll and a cookie. I like to share this fact with the world. If you've eaten less then I can rub it in your face. (Haha starving child. No offence starving children. I'm sorry starving children...no...Don't eat me...) If you've eaten more then... Well I'm not sure what the point in telling you is then. If you ate more than that today pretend that I said that I ate an elephant and some green beans. It's highly unlikely you ate more than that. If you did then O.o.

I have more Latin homework... But who cares? 'Cause I'm going to Germany!!!!!!! Yeah, just thought I'd share that... Because while I'm gone you people are gonna feel DEPRIVED. You don't know what you have till it's gone. Of course, the danger is that while I'm gone you realise I actually really annoy you. Darn me for taking that chance.

Phones scare me. Not mine. Other people's. It's like they always sneak up on you, then ring as loudly as possible. The other day Jess asked me if I was homophobic. The phone in my study is really loud and right next my ear. Every time it rings I flee into the living room, which is over twenty feet away. I said no. I don't think I am.

My favourite ever film is 'The Lion King'. It is THE BEST. The first eight times I watched this I cried. The first eight times I watched it I was eight. Naha, I know you're mad about me not lending it to you. The weekend after the weekend I get back from Germany is a good time for you to come rounf my house and watch it. Do you want to? I bought the Rocky Horror Show today. I've never seen it. I hope that it's good, otherwise it was a huge waste of £3.

Tbf though, in Lion King 2 Simba is a massive prick.

When I was a kid I used to make the Lion King out of Lego. Then I lost the male lion. That made me sad.

For some reason there is a pillow on the piano bench in here. I have no idea why. I could ask, but there probably isn't a reason. My mum probably thought it needed a change of scenery from the spare room.

On Wednesday we had this ready-meal style tea, because we needed to eat quickly before my sisters German. It was noodles, but it had mushrooms in. I hate mushrooms.

So, my mum told me to pick the mushrooms out while she delivered some shizz. The mushrooms were large, so this was possible. I then removed each mushroom carefully with a fork. I also checked the meal for hidden mushrooms that planned on sneaking up on me and poisoning my life with mushroomyness.

When I finished, my mum wasn't back. There I was, standing next to the two pots of ready-meal, holding a fork and looking at this pile of mushrooms I had accumulated.

I don't know what happened. I just randomly started hitting the mushrooms with my fork. They started to fall apart, little bits of mushroom flying everywhere. I remember comparing myself in my head to the Hitler of mushrooms. There I was, discriminating against mushrooms for no reason. I didn't kill all of the mushrooms. Before I was half way through I realised that my mum would probably want to eat them herself. I salvaged what I could.

A synonym for big would be: large; great; huge; massive; vast; significant; prominent; skookum. I like the last one. Apparently it's a Canada/USA word. They have odd words.

Well, I'm signing off now. Over and Out XD

P.S BID FOR MY TAIL. SAVE THE CHILDREN.

Monday 21 March 2011

Rolling

So, I have twenty minutes. I did manage to stop, drop and roll in P.E. Only once, but I still did it. XD

As sad as I am, I spent today writing a small Twilight crack!fic. I won't post it on here, in case you object to the parodying of Twilight, simply because it is similar to actual twilight. If you want to check it out this is it; http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6840301/1/Bellas_Unwanted_Days_Out

Thankyou muchly, Emma's nan for the delicous biscuits you so kindly delivered to me via Emma. I appreciated them and they made for an unhealthy, yet tasty lunch. :)I am surprised you deemed me worthy and pleased that you gave me the biscuits and that you are now reading this.

So that's me. I am boring. Okay, so I lied. And? You do it all the time. I know you do. Will was behaving oddly in History today. So was I if I'm honest. Mr Bowen mentioned someone who's name was Jelly something or other, and I said "oooh, Jelly!" Really loudly. A few people laughed. A lot stared. Mr Bowen stared. Personally, I think he was secretly amused.

So, my hair fell out. Not literally. I am not bald. Don't worry. Ella put up into a something. Then it fell out- again, not out of my head. I just remembered something that amused me today!

I was eating my tea and watching some telly, and I put CBBC on. Mainly 'cause it's awesome. The program playing was M.I.High. I don't know if any of you have seen it, but it is the bomb. Seriously. It's so ridiculous it's vastly amusing. I'll give you the low down on the storyline:

Bear in mind that I started in the middle.

Boy finds chocolate wrapper. On the floor. The litterer must be the evil baddy! Girls argue. Surely the evil baddy is the one who is better at sit ups than sporty girl? It's not physically possible for people to be better than her. Not true says other, similar but slightly different, girl. Must be the one who is better than ME. I am best.

Sporty girl fails at sit-ups again. At this point I stopped watching for a while, so we'll have an elipsis.
...
...
^See, that was two :) Anyway, something to do with chilly, and sit up girl is the evil baddy! Must chase. Meanwhile, boy is shutting the litterer in the toilet. Because that is where litterers belong. Girl fights evil baddy. Some sort of mustard spray knocks out evil baddy- yaaaay!!!!

Boy goes 'Oops.' and frees litterer. Litterer says 'Awesome' and boy imediately recognises him as evil. For some reason he walks very slowly. Eventually he arrives and pretends to be cool. More mustard is sprayed on the baddy. We win. The end. And apparently tomorrow is wear what you like day.

See, that it the kind of storyline I like. Especially the mustard parts. Gurpreet knocked over the table tennis tabley thing today, it made me Epic lol. Seriously. Funniest. Thing. Ever.

I have to go now-ish.

I'm sure Ella will post some painful photos on facebook XD

I think I'll have a last minute ramble. This will be a brain-train so be warned, I am allowing my thoughts to follow whichever pattern they wish.

Starting word:... Flowers. There are flowers in Harry Potter. I think of them as Petunias. Clearly they're not. Oh well. In harry potter 4 he had really bad hair, don't you think? Verging on man-bob. My cousin had a man-bob for a bit. It was both cringe worthy and hilarious. Last time I went there, they were arguing over curtains, and today Ella was showing me some curtain. Why does everyone look at curtains? Laura was there. She owes me money. Money is useful. I wonder if I'll win the lottery one day. I'll have to enter first. I once won a game of Bingo. That was fun. They were playing bingo on the Benidorm advert, and there was a person who looked like a man or a woman, but I couldn't tell which. Do women with moustaches always look like men? There's a photo of Hev where her teeth blur into a tooth moustache which is quite cool. Like being an opposite vampire. "Run! Or I'll get you with my tooth moustache!".

Well, got to go. More from me tomorrow, or sometime. You know, whenever.

Sunday 20 March 2011

Sunday

Olay, well I'll start with my dream this morning. I can't really remember everything that happened, but I was a sailor/magician in a world that had gone post-apocalyptic (I know. Spelling). So I was talking to some renegade magicians who I apparently just broke out of magician renegade prison. Then I went to my grandparents house with my sister. Only, there was another version of my sister in another room, and she told me that my grandparents were evil or something...then disappeared. So, I hid in this room, and my grandparents were about to come in, so I checked the drawers for weapons or something. I found two metallic gold ps3 controllers and a book. Surprisingly, the book was the important part. So it was magic, and I read it. I ended up back with my renegade magician friends. They start telling me how we're going to stop voldemort coming back and then we arrive at this castle. I then have flashbacks of how this is where I got married (????). So we're standing in front of this castle/church in the middle of a graveyard, when bellatrix lestrange appears. And she's like 'We're going to bring the dark lord back!' and I'm like 'Wtf??? This is post-apocalyptic magician world, not hogwarts!!!'. Then I run away. But for some reason or other, Bella needs me or the book or something to bring voldy the mouldy back, so she is like 'Stoppy spelly thing!'. I get hit by the spell. And appear on a boat in the middle of the sea. Then I think about how it was actually a different castle where I got married. Oh, and a siamese kitten appears. Right before I woke up, I remember that the siamese kitten was nuzzling my chin with it's head.

I woke up with my chin on my chest. Make what you will of this. Personally, I decided that I was nuzzling myself. Tbf, the siamese kitten was cute.

Anyway, I now own Jessie J's Album. I love 'Rainbow'. I like singing along really badly. It makes me feel special. Plus it annoys the rest of my household (Added bonus!).

Dressed as a tiger. Was THE most fun ever. I think I might have capitalised the wrong word there. I don't particularly care, and I think it would be mean to take it away from 'the' now anyway. Some random dude (who thought he was gangsta) went 'Dat is cool. Dat is well cool in me' when I bought some chips by the bus station. A lot of small children found me very amusing. Lots of people just stared. I smiled at those who dared to make eye contact. There was one very funny person who thought I was blind cause I was wearing sungalsses or something, and when they realised I could see them, they got really freaked out. I was amused.

I made Edward Cullen on the Sims 3. I love messing with the storyline! So far he started off as a poor soul living with a randomer. Then he fell in love with/ went out with his roomie. Then he became an incredibly high paid headteacher. Then he went to Egypt. Then he randomly dumped his girlfriend and cried for a bit. I mean for three days. Then he bought a new house with a perv shed in the basement (I didn't put it there, Sims did.). It has this basement on the same level as the swimming pool, and it has massive windows, so that he can perv on peeps who are swimming. Anyhoo, then... something happened. And now he's a firefighter who spends large amounts of time collecting gnomes and for some reason is incapable of having a relationship. Not because of me. I have a sims error. Oh! And he made friends with some old dude in China, who he then invited round his house, only before he arrived he got a notification saying he'd died. Turns out that doesn't stop foreign Sims! He is now living with him as a gay lover who NEVER STOPS EATING. Visitors aren't allowed in the house, so the random old dude lives in the basement and sleeps in a tent. With Edward. Did I mention Edward works with Bella as a firefighter and she keeps flirting with him? And he keeps setting her house on fire.

There's only one photo of me as a tiger on facebook. This disappoints me greatly. Half the attention is drawn to Luci in the background anyway (she is in a very compromising position with Beth. Which implies Beth is secretly male. Not you Beth who wants my tail. Don't hit me.)

Speaking of tails- not a pun- Does anyone want to make a bid for owning a tiger tail? I'm thinking of selling it for comic relief and all those babies.

I have lots of Latin homework :/ However, I also learnt that in Latin 'bebi' is the imperative plural to drink. It's like saying "Drink!" to a room full of people. So, at Latin parties, before a toast, they would go "Bebi!".

I had a glass of wine today after lunch, which was at half-five btw. My family has no sense of time. Not that I drank before 6. It was ten past when I had my glass. Which clearly makes it a lot better. I downloaded iTunes yesterday to listen to Jessie J and my mum promptly downloaded some free classical shizz. So now I keep listening to 'Do it like a Dude' followed by 'Elgar: Enigma Variations 'Nimrod''. Odd.

There are a few photos of me from a month ago, and I look really distracted in all of them. It reminds me of when my cat hears fireworks. I like shoes. Well, converse. Not proper converse. I'm cheap. Not that sort of cheap. You are bad people. Apart from Ell- wait. I think that Ella thought that too. You're all bad people.

When I was ten, I got given a photo frame that was about 2 inches by 1 inch, but I had no photos that size. So instead, I put a foil quality street wrapper in it. To this day I have a framed orange crisp foil wrapper.

I can't believe it's only two weeks 'til we go to Germany! I really need to speak to Laura more. Or learn German. Or both. I need to rely less on google translate is what I need. I saw a facebook like about what girls say, and what they really mean. It confused me because it was mostly true.

There's this pot of multicoloured paper clips next to me, and I am so tempted to join a load together and then wear them as a necklace. I think I will. Modernist style.

I looked at the time just then. I can gaurantee you that right now my parents are listening to the archers. Ooops, I think Elgar just started playing through my speakers. One moment. Actually it was Swan Lake. I didn't remember Jessie J involving that many violins.

I don't read the neswpaper. Ever. I thought that needed sharing. Now I've shared it. Like sweets. Some people don't share sweets. I don't resent that. I mean, I don't share drinks. Slightly different reasons, but still. The point is valid. Why does everything circle back to an IAA in science? It's creepy. Like when Beth was stroking my arm outside of science. And Emma. Bad children. I love a bit of Queen. Not the queen. That would be very, very disturbing. Queen. I love listening to a bit of Queen. That's better.

Our piano looks sad. No-one has played it in over six months. We lost the rugby. Well, we came second. I wasn't bothered tbh. England probs had a spazz about not owning everyone. I hope they did. The thought make me mini-lol.

Soz that I didn't post yesterday. I found this couple on youtube that spend their entire lives pranking each other. I watched all 82 videos on their playlist. I was there for a long time. By the end I'd forgotten why. Will sponsored me in the end. I don't think it was because of the children (Think of the children!). I think it's because he thought it would be amusing to see me dressed as a tiger. I think he was amused. Most people were. I still don't know what Emily was doing searching babies 40 times on google images (sorry Emily, but it cracks me up. Ella is worse than me!).

I get annoyed by those yes/no question posty things on facebook. I just wanna hit them with a hammer. Like Charlotte. She's not a hammer, but sometimes I want to hit her with one. My therapist says I shouldn't.

I'm lying. My therapist won't see me anymore after 'The incident'. I'm lying again. My therapist just doesn't like me. She won't see me though. That part is true.

"haha. Ok. :)" What kind of a response is ... We won't go there. I'll just rant.

Emma mentioned owls I think. There was an owl on Harry Hill. He shaved it's head. That was both odd and mildly amusing. Possibly also disturbing. Like when I found a contact lense in my sock on monday. That creeped me out a bit. I feel like I should stop, drop and roll more often. In the middle of the street maybe? On a youtube vlog!!! Yeahhhhh. I would walk around doing random stuff and film other peeps reactions.

I have a new pledge. I pledge not to die very soon, as that would take away other people's entertainment. I would not want to do that to them. However, Ella, Amy, Charlotte, Beth. You may all die as soon as you wish. I'd like a days forewarning though. Just so the idea gets firmly planted in my head. I don't like surprises. Unless they're good. I don't know. If you think I would be pleased by your death then you're free to make it a surprise. Like cake. I have no objection to people giving me cake without forewarning.

Thanks for reading. Come back tomorrow to find out what I did. Probably some stopping and dropping, maybe even some rolling. Likely in P.E. And maths. Good old maths. How are you other peeps doing with those quadratic equations somethinging the square?

P.S I couldn't be bothered to youtube something for you this week. But if you haven't already played this game: http://www.maniacworld.com/maze_game.htm then you should. Once you have, tell me your reaction, and I'll tell you mine. That is, if you haven't already read about it on facebook. XD

See y'all tomoz ;)

Wednesday 16 March 2011

Bana Nah Nah Nah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDlQm5jFL50.

Banana rap. That is all I can say. <3 it!!!!!!!!!! XD

I somehow ended up spending my day watching TV. Not what I wanted. I wanted to play the Sims 3!!!!! My little person was about to be free of his obsessive girlfriend, move house, get rich, quit his job and then...do something! This I think, is where I decided he would have eight babies and then die.

I remember doing that on the Sims 2. I had the sims 2 pets, and the only way to get a puppy without breeding it yourself was to adopt it. I wanted to be able to adopt purebred puppies, so I would create families with the sole purpose of breeding a bazillion puppies and then... Well, I'm not really sure what happened next. Likely I locked the people in a room containing only a fridge, an oven and several hundred 20 simoleon armchairs. If so, then I would have them cook something before napping (On the floor, as sims can't nap in chairs). Armchair + Oven = fire. Fire + Sims = No family. No family= Puppies go up for adoption! Puppies up for adoption= I can now get puppies!!!! XD I was a clever, if mildly insane, child.

I love listening to loud music and then clicking in the exact wrong part. You know? Inbetween the beats. So, I still have the right rhythm, but my timing is wrong. It's actually quite fun. Just so you know, that is how you spell rhythm.

We have this keyboard made of jelly stuff, and there is a hole in it. Not a whole, as I have seen this word spelled many a time, as that would be odd without a noun for the adjective. If, however, it were a whole...doughnut, then it would be perfectly normal. Anyway, it's full of gelatin stuff, which is probably incredibly toxic. Oh well, it's fun to pull it out. It looks like weird jelly sugar crystals. I will not eat the highly toxic jelly sugar crystals. I am a good person.

My sister keeps interrupting me which is beyond irritating. I have completed my prefect form. Mostly. I realise that these two things are unrelated. I do not care.

What does Emma's box of interesting things say? I have a feeling someone suggested something vitally important to mention in my blog. I think it was Emily, but all I can remember about that conversation is hoe she is giving 'uno crispono' to me in sponsorship, yet she was unsure of how to spell it. Oh well. Another time. I missed art. Which was utterly pointless as I didn't get home until 4.26 p.m. anyway, a scant fifteen minutes earlier than I would have had I done art. Soz to peeps who thinks I iz using too long words. I will dum it down innit? JK lol! I iz too s'fisticated 4 dat shizz.

So, Emma. Llamas. Well. What can I say? A llama speaks for itself. Once I saw a photo of a llama in a car. Not a cart. Why do Americans have shopping carts? Why not trolleys? I mean, which is worse? Carting something around, or trolleying it? Trolleying sounds more fun. Carting sounds like carton. Cartons are only fun when they have mazes on the side. Also, people who are off their trolley are fun. People who are off their cart are just imbalanced. I don't know if being off your shopping trolley is different from being off your trolley generally. Maybe it's slightly less theraputic and involves an advertising fee?

Right now I'm listening to Queen. Funny story, Emma mentioned the queen in the book of subjects. In fact, I mentioned the queen in the car today. Long story to do with how, when famous people die, the bbc halt all good tv programs. Apparently this is something my sister has experience in. She claims I do too, but if I'm honest, I've always just had a running commentary in my head for these TV programs, so what the people are doing is less interesting. In fact, the most interesting programs are the news and old ladies with cats. The news can involve a picture of a burning train and then the news man says 'Man in tears when wife deliberately sabotages favourite train set.'. Old ladies with cats are best though. "Well, as my Jeoffrey would've said 'You've never had enough alcohol if you can still find your ears.' I don't understand it, but that's life Bobbins." cat: " Hmmmm, yes.... Can we take over the world now? Only my backs getting itchy."

So yeah. It's a little bit chilly. I keep saying that, mostly because it fits the tune of 'Your Song' by Elton John/ Elle Goulding perfectly. I'll tell you the first few lines:

                               It's a little bit chilly, when you go outsiiiiiiide.
                                I think it's time that, I made some pieeeeee.
                               If you think I'm wrong then, melt my igloo digs,
                                 But baby it's cold now and you're a prick.


So, that was verse one. I cba to do much more. I'll finish with this; What is the point of jogging? Why would you do that? Is it not more sensible to do some sort of less humiliating indoor jog type thing? When I see in the newspaper that David Camerons wife jogs, I think 'David Cameron looks funny.', but after that, I think that his wife is silly for jogging. Why doesn't she go on an inside joggy thingy? You know, a running machine. It's a) Safe from paparazzi b) Safe from Lady Gaga c) Only mildly humiliating (Not at all if you have you're own) and d) Warm and therefore unlikely to lead to random performances of 'It's a little bit chilly.'

Fin! I shall speak to ye tomorrow, when I will likely be a tiger as you are all too lazy to read this until thursday. Oh, and I may not post on thurs as I have Latin and don't get back until 6ish.

Monday 14 March 2011

Mushrooms and All Their Glory

Firstly, I would like to mention how, when I turned my computer on and opened internet explorer, it asked me: Would I like to restore my previous browsing session?
Now, this question took some thought for me to answer- clearly there was no previous browsing session, as the computer was off. After a few moments of deliberation I decided that I should have some excitement in my life, and so I pressed 'restore last session'.

How disappointed was I when the only thing that came up was Google?

Anyway, now that's over. Next interesting thing that happened. When I went to type my email address to log in to facebook, I misspelled msn. It was 'my email address'@man.com. It made me lol. Well, it did in my head.

Speaking of heads, well... no, we'll get to that later. Right now I feel like I have to get onto the subject of mushrooms. I'm sure that I promised Beth I'd mention something, but whatever it was had flown straight out of my head (And likely into Josie's. Beth's ideas are often angry, and all angry things are sucked into Josie like she's a vacuum.). So, in English today Beth suggested to me that I 'be a mushroom' for my poem/story. Unfortunately, I misinterpreted this- instead I quickly joined my arms together above my head and squatted. I was being a mushroom. That was one of my favourite moments of the day. I will give Beth the credit. Not that she noticed. In fact Beth, I quite resent the fact that you completely blanked my(rather good) mushroom impression. I have decided that I am no longer talking to you.

So that was mushrooms. Next, sponsorship!!! To everyone who has sponsored me- thankyou! I have £62.11 so far, that's plenty for me...
I'm lying! The children in Africa need you! If you have sponsored me, I'd be grateful if you brought the money in tomorrow or the day after- I am now paranoid that I will forget to ask people for it and be like 'I got £60!' and then the red nose day person will be like 'Well give it to me.' and I'll be like '...Here's five pence?'.

Anyhoo. I had a mahoosive headache when I got home, 'cause I'm stoopid and forgot to have a drink all day. In the end though, I had a nap and now I think I'll nap a lot more often. You should try it. Napping is the new fun! It was only a ten minute nap, so as naps go it was a bit of a fail, but it was still a nap.

My English story is coming along nicely. I had a spazz about whether or not the sun wanes (or waxes.). Turns out it's only the moon that cares about personal hygeine. And when I asked Ella if the sun moved she looked at me weird.

I'll be right back inanimate computer/ readers who will have no wait anyway. I must quickly refer to the Emma Flint box of ideas. One secondo. So, Emma suggested owls, possums, gnomes and llamas. I'm gonna go with gnomes.

Firstly, I've always liked the way gnomes is spelt with a g. I'm not saying that as a kid I called them 'Ge-nomes'(I would've had I known about the world of gnomes- yes I do realise the similarity between the words 'known' and 'gnome'. I like it.). In fact, I call them 'Ge-nomes' far more often these days. It's a fun word to say. Say it. If you said it, you will now be repeating the word 'ge-nomes' to yourself and laughing. If you didn't then it's your loss, and you're doing it now anyway, just incase it amuses you. It probably didn't. That's what you get for being a 'ge-nome' hater. Yes, I did just say 'ge-nome' outloud and laugh. Yes, I find that acceptable.

Gnomeo and Juliet. Anyone watch that? I didn't. I wanted to. But only in that sort of 'I kinda think I might enjoy that, but I ceebs to do anything about it' way. I haven't listened to much music today, due to the headache, so no news on that front...Sorry Emma, back to gnomes.
One time, I was on the Sims 3, and for some reason, I was fighting gnomes. Now, this could've been a dream, but I have a strong feeling that this really happened. Evil gnomes. And it was my sims job to rid people's houses of these evil gnomes? Idk :S In any case, ridding imaginary people's imaginary houses of imaginary gnomes is quite fun. I recommend it.

The gnomes were glowy. Red glowy. Like the colour food colouring we used for out Biology IAA.

Ah, IAAs. Them again. The only thing I have to say about this one, is that E looked like blood and tasted like beetle. That's it. Oh, and I think there was something amusing that Will said near the end, but I wasn't listening enough to get it.

I guess I should be nearly finished with this, but I know that I'm just gonna go have a nap when I'm finished and I don't feel that I'm boring enough for that to be my life. How does that sound? 'Hello, I'm bloggy nap girl.'. Not the best introduction.

Remember as a kid, when a teacher told you to write a page, you would just write in font size 24? I miss that. I do! I'll admit this now, but if you mock me I'll never blog again. Sometimes, when I am doing homework, and we're supposed to do 2 sides, I write a paragraph, then change it to 24 and lol at how much work I've done in a split second. 'Course then I have to change it back 'cause only 2 words fit on a line. That makes me sad. XD

It's gone eight o'clock and I guess I'm leaving, but firstly) Well done for reading. I like this also. Secondly) I forgot, but I'm sure it wasn't too good. Thirdly) If you can give me ideas for what to write about - Do it!!!!!! I need these, despite my natural resourcefulness. I think I spelled that wrong. I seriously am paranoid about my spelling. This thing should really get spellcheck. I mean, even I know that 'thrtr' isn't a word, yet using this system it would be easy for me to accidently write it.

Blaaargh! Aliens are cool. I am not reading any books at the moment, as I have no money to buy new ones. Unless the dictionary counts as a book? I'm lying again. I don't read the dictionary. My dad called my sister a psychopathic liar today. I think he meant pathological, but it still made me lol.

Oh yeah, a piece of advice- watch Britain's next hairdresser...Or whatever it's called. I'm going to. That's why when I go back to sleep in 5 mins it is a nap, not a sleep. I am getting back up to watch hairdressing! Tbh, the only reason I'm tired is that I had to get up at quarter to seven this morning. Josie's fault again. Funny how everything negative circles back to her, isn't it? I'm joking. Mostly.

Have a nice evening, watch out for giant people dressed as mosquitoes. Or giant mosquitoes dressed as people. Or David McTennant.(It's not my fault he can't decide his name.) Feel free to tell me about your favourite fail. I'll blog it, but I'll laugh too. Bye bye :)

P.S. If you have some free time, and you haven't already, watch this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaA_cs4WZHM

Sunday 13 March 2011

Big White Room

Today's blog is called Big White Room because it is inspired by the song 'Big White Room' by Jessie J. Mainly because at the end she bangs her elbow. It made me lol.

I haven't done much today, pretty much just be boring. Naha told me I should blog about Robin Hood on magic mushrooms, so I am going to. Unfortunately, the last time I ranted about this was a while ago, so bear with me if my ramble is a little rusty.

So, at one point, in one of the bbc Robin Hood series episodes. Robin Hood does something, and then something else happens and then he looks high. From what I can remember he is sitting next to a tree and then he sees maid Marian (Who may or may not be dead, depending on whether or not I am remembering correctly) and is like oooooh. Only, she's not real. And he doesn't move. But they dance? Idk the whole point is that he's just sitting there (next to mushrooms I might add) and suddenly crazy things start happening... after the camera stops looking at him briefly. My theory is that he goes 'Yum! Mushroom eaty for me!' then gets high, then dances around on his own, then falls over, then snogs the air, then goes ow. You see? Script writing is not that complicated afterall!

I mean, were I to write say a television program, it would be called the three Undertakers. It would be about three undertakers. Arnold, Bob and Frisky (Frisky is a girl). I will quickly write up the first scene for you:

Frisky: "People keep sending dead people here. It's creeping me out. I think we should move."

Bob: "But Arnold and I made a new friend today! He's called Bob the second."

Arnold (Shouting from another room): "Why can't we call him Farnold? I like that name better."

Frisky:"...Is this 'friend' that mouse I saw yesterday?"

Bob: "Nope XD"
Random man walks in: "Can I go home now please?"

...

To be continued.

Yeah, so I know, not the funniest, but it's better than daybreak. My mum randomly had a go at the woman on Daybreak the other day for wearing a bra. And then she went to sleep. It was another odd thirty seconds of my life.

I changed the picture for the title of my blog. I like it. You probably don't, but what do I care? There are 10 of you who got confused and pressed the button twice + me who has checked my blog so many times it thinks 30 other people have looked at it. (:/ I know right.)

Our Norton Internet Security is asking to be activated and no-one in the house can be bothered to find the code needed to activate it, so we just have no internet security atm. The worst part is that the box is only two feet away. And will we ever pick it up? Unlikely.

I sent a message to my German exchange today. She's nice but she likes speaking German, so every time I say something to her I have to run it by google translate. Which is as we all know hugely incorrect grammatically. Whatever it is I am sending to my German exchange, it probably starts off as 'I'm good, how are you?' and finishes as 'I am working well, how are you good?'
If she understands anything then I commend her. Did you know that the German word for boyfriend is just Fruenden. The same as friend. How on earth do they know what's going on in their social circles? I mean that totally changes the meaning of 'Hi mum, this is Lisa, my new friend, we're going into the livingroom with my other friends. Don't interrupt unless it's important or food.' Especially if, like me, you are a girl.

I lost my train of rant. I would like to congratulate Emily. Well done Emily. I am congratulating you for wanting to be part of the group that reads my blog. Or pretends to. That makes us 16 (wooo!). And anyone who promised to sponsor me as a tiger, thankyou!! I really think it's going to be a good red nose day this year, even if I will get really hot in my tiger suit.
Yes Naha, I realise that your comment here would be 'But you're so hot anyway!' and I do not disagree XD.

Just remembered that we have that Biology IAA tomorrow :/ Tbh, I couldn't care less if I fail epicly. At least I have whatever it was I got last time to fall back on. And Amy's sister got A*s despite her Cs in the IAAs so...... Suck on that Biology!!!!!!!!!!

I could now decide to make random jokes, but I ceebs, so instead I am going to just ramble until I hit a subject, and see where it goes from there. In my head I seem to be stuck on raisins, which is frustrating, seeing as I've already covered them. you know what else is frustrating? We didn't mention raisins in our English. Again, I blame Kathleen for this. Okay, fine, that was my fault. But still!

Can't wait till the hedge outside our house grows back. It's really awkward when you don't want to answer the door, but they can see you're watching TV. Not that that actually has anything to do with the hedge. People who are going for walks! They are affected by our hedge. They stare at you in the livingroom if there is no hedge. If there is a hedge then they pretend you're not there. Free staring! (For me, not them. Not that I stare at most of them. People who walk are often old or boring.).

I changed my sheets when I woke up this morning (I do every sunday) and my cat promptly sat on the nice new clean ones. He is so bitchy! He woke me up at half-five this morning as well, because he couldn't be bothered to go through the gap slightly smaller than his head, and needed me to make it wider for his bum to fit through. I was really confused, I thought I'd shut him in- I go to open my door, which, when shut properly, is really stiff, and guess what? I pull too hard, and go splat. I'm still half-asleep so I just drunkenly made my way back to bed and fell asleep again. If I had fallen on the edge of my bed, that would've hurt. Not that Oddie cares. He buggered off before I got up (from the floor).

Looking forward to writing a story/poem about a brave young flower hidden amongst a lot of nettles who badly wounded when the nettles are killed and then...Thought I'd tell you the whole story didn't you? You'll have to wait until English. Or next time I post. Yes. So probably, tomorrow or the day after.

For some reason I feel like this blog is supposed to be funny. Some people think it is. I don't understand their logic. Even now I have a teeny weeny crease between my eyes that is caused by my bafflement.( Is bafflement a word?)

Tell the world I'm coming home. 'Cos I'm there already 'innit.

Next week on friday, I am planning on going into town after school, as I would rather not go straight home. I mean, why waste the tiger outfit solely on school when I can entertain an entire town?

So, if anyone is up for a friday evening around town then give me a shout! (Please be someone I know...please be someone I know...)

I can't be bothered to write much more as I don't want to risk losing my muchness. I need it. Has anyone ever sat on a sofa whilst moving? I want to.

Ideas for next blog NEEDED. I am stoopid- help me! Btw, I have cold feet right now. Literally. Someone needs to get some heating in this house. Or stop turning it off. Yes, I am talking to you dad.

Before I leave, I will give you this. Are holepunches cool? There is a translucent green one infront of me now, and I am unable to decide. I mean, they are entirely boring normally, but when used in the right way, they can cause hours of fun.

Anyway, are they cool? Yours, Immie XD

Saturday 12 March 2011

My Life in Total

I lied. This isn't my life in total. It's barely a smidgen of my thoughts. If you are vastly offended by my obscene lies, feel free to leave. I have. In fact, I'm not really sure how I'm managing to type this right now :/


I'm still annoyed by Times New Roman as a font (And if I got the name wrong, do you think that's an issue for me?). Less annoyed. There's rugby on today. It must be Wales v.s. someone, or I wouldn't know, but I'm not sure who we're playing. Don't diss the Welsh. It comes back to haunt you.


Still hooked on Jessie J. The acoustic style is better though, in my opinion. I am currently using orange smelling shampoo. This I like. Unfortunately, I don't sense much of the orange smell after I've dried- which makes me sad inside.


This morning at twenty to eight my cat poked me. I mean this seriously. He shoved my shoulder in the way a person would to wake me up. It didn't work, but it woke me up enough to freak me out, and move the covers slightly. This must of been his aim, as he promptly sat on me and went to sleep. Oddest thirty seconds of my life. The varying levels of intelligence that my cat displays creeps me out a lot.


If this blog is deleted in any way whatsoever, I will know that an evil race of cats has taken over the internet (:/ :/ :/ :/ :/). So far today, I have eaten a chocolate muffin and a packet of crisps XD They were chicken flavour (The crisps not the muffin- that would be weird.).


There are little kids by my house that play football outside ALL THE TIME. Frustration much?? I mean seriously, for the first, I don't know... eight years, I was fine with it. But waking me up every sunday at ten because your brother who is three years younger than you is pwning yo' ass?? This I do not agree with. Not to mention the fact that this kid is an absolute brat. Moved here two years ago (he did), and ever since I've been hoping he'll stop pointing at every person he sees and screaming and just generally being obnoxious. Most kids are great- it's amazingly fun just to have a conversation with them. Just not this one. Anyway, I'll change subject before I get more rude.


Why are magpies seen as unlucky? Of this I know not. I still can't believe it's 2011. I mean, three months in and I'm confused? Yeah, I know. My sense of timing is not so good. At least I'm writing it down as the date, even if I don't believe it's true.


I got a D in my R.E. Those who know me, feel free to openly laugh. Do it now. Go on, get it out of your system. What annoys me, is that people who I know have the intellect of a pea have somehow managed to get a score higher than mine. This definetely does not apply to everyone who got more than me. In fact, if I'm being honest, it's rather specifically aimed at one person. I will not, however, name names, so just assume this person is both academically challenged and ridiculously annoying/ rub it in your facey (I realise facey isn't a word. Don't blame me.). To be fair, mr. Bowen has given me As and A*s in every mock we've done, and I got full marks in the last two, which makes me a little confused about my mark.


Everyone in the school did badly though, so I'm hoping for a remark that'll get me at least a B. If it doesn't happen, I'm just going to retake and pretend this never happened. End of.


The road near my house has been resurfaced. Sort of. There is a patch of it that has been resurfaced. This means we're further down the queue for complete resurfacing, but I was getting worried abuot our car tires being damaged. It was almost like being on the dodgems when we drove home.

Oh yeah, and for red nose day, I am dressing as a tiger. I have to go buy/ make a tail soonish. It should be really fun. especially in chemistry. The more people sponsor me, the more I can pretend that's why I'm doing it. I mean, that is why I'm doing it. Not because I randomly feel like going to school as a tiger. No way. Definetely not. It is 100% for those red nose day people. If I raise a tenner I'll be happy. Especially cos the tail will probably cost a fiver, and the suit cost ten. Then again, the suit is a snuggie, so I'm gonna wear it the rest of the time anyway. It's gonna be so awkward if someone else comes to school in the same outfit as me. Really, really awkward. I bought some shoes yesterday that I'm gonna make orange and black so that I don't have to be a tiger that's randomly wearing wellies. Not that I don't like wellies. They just aren't very tiger-y.

Soz to the dissapointed people who thought this would be funny. Soz to the other people who are just generally annoying (cos I feel sorry for you). And um... yeah. Next time I promise to be more random and therefore more interesting. In fact, I think I might post that bit about randomers asking me which colour I think the sky should be... yeah. I think I will. If you can give me ideas on what to post about I promise to take them up (Unless they are very, very bad. Or come from Jack.)
I'm going to go now, because I need to pee (sorry for sharing). Have a nice weekend and all that jazz. Will try to update soon. Also hoping to write a little bit of a crack!fic and post that on here XD

Thursday 10 March 2011

Yesterday + thoughts

random So, I'm back (I know, yay!)

When I first started typing this, the font it was in was New Times Roman. Is it me, or is this font actually painful to look at? I have had a deep hatred for it since childhood and hugely prefer Arial. Or anything really.
Has anyone heard Jessie J 'Mamma knows best'? For any older people reading this blog, or just fans of older music, I can understand if you hate her for the modern style she uses, but I love her! Unusual for me, as I generally listen to a wide range of music, from Gaga to John Lennon. The reason I like Jessie J is because she is actually better live than recorded! Such a rarity these days that I can't help but be blown away by her performance skills. Anyway, I'm getting too formal.
Any people who are actually reading this, you may or may not know me. To Kathleen, who I will inevitably force to read this, thanks. I don't mean that. Well, I do. You know what I mean. The point is, well done for being able to read, Kathleen. I hope my grammar is up to scratch. Has Mr.Henton shown you the presentation about the dining halls yet? I noticed that he used 'maybe' instead of the two seperate words 'may' and 'be'- which changed the meaning of his sentence altogether and was rather embarrassing for me.
For today (or rather, yesterday), I was thinking about rambling over pens. You see, I got a free pen today. This, I thought, was a very good thing. I mean, who doesn't love a free pen? (Feel free to argue if you are reading this and happen to object violently to free pens) When I say I got a free pen, I don't mean that I have taken the little blue pen from argos. I haven't. Yet. I actually was given a pen today. My pen ran out; I needed to borrow a pen; I borrowed a pen; I asked to continue borrowing said pen; pen was gifted to me. All in all, I found it a very good day.

I'm going to be honest, this blog has been more rambly, less interesting (By the way, is that how you spell rambly? Is rambly a word?). Not that I care. I am posting to the empty world of cyberspace where millions of people will purposefully bypass reading this.

In the interest of staying interesting, I will now talk about something else entirely. Oh, and if by, say... wednesday, someone has commented with a subject for me to ramble about, I shall happily ramble about it. Specifically. That didn't make sense, did it? If you want to dictate what I ramble about next, just comment saying 'please ramble about ... next post'. E.g. Please ramble about how your cousins favourite colour annoys you next post, or please ramble about how it shouldn't be legal for people to create new types of cloud next post.

Sighing. Is it just me that sighs accidently? I like to think of it as breathing loudly when I do it, but I always think back and realise why everyone thought I was being rude. It causes large numbers of 'awkward turtle' moments. I'm walking along just chatting to a friend when 'Long winded sigh...' and then they get offended because they think I find them boring, or wasn't listening. If I'm honest, a lot of the time I'm not listening...

I zone out a lot. In the middle of a lecture I snap back to myself and think 'Oh no! I stopped listening!'. I have started to do this so often that I say it out loud. Not good, I tell you.

I think I'm going to stop writing now- not because I don't have more ramble in me, just that it's getting more boring, I'm getting less interested and the post is becoming quite long. Hopefully next time I will be slightly funnier. Or more awake. Or crazier. I like crazy. In my old blog I rambled about people reactions if a loon asked them about the colour of the sky. Maybe I should do that?

From your loyal (for now) postee. XD